What makes the very best the very best?

And why do we say they’re the very best?

"He was the best starpilot in the galaxy."

Iconic. The prototype. The genuine article. These are words and phrases that are used to describe the very thing, the very essence of a type of character. In the real world when we think of the greatest basketball player of all time, a specific individual comes to mind. There is a name you probably associate with “the astronaut” of modern times. And in the case of chefs, for example, there might not be a single name, but the contenders for the top spot all share what makes a great chef a great chef. It’s the food, the passion, the painstaking detail of every dish. A chef isn’t famous because of their speeches; it’s because of their food.

As the first article of Satire Station, it felt timely to discuss “the very best” of fiction, and while a comprehensive list may be desired, this an article on the internet. People don’t want to read a book. People don’t even read comments they reply to on social media, so we are mindful of short attention spans (unfortunately). These next five examples will serve to see what “the very best” has in common. What makes a thing iconic in a field? Whether that’s a pilot, an archeologist, a pirate, or an adaptation. We’re about to tell you.

Take to the skies.

If someone would say “Who is the very best fictional pilot that exists?” You might respond with Anakin Skywalker. “He was the best starpilot in the galaxy.” according to Obi-Wan Kenobi. But that’s a very specific title with not a lot of competition. The answer is right there for us without having to think. The question I’m asking is “Who is the very best fictional human pilot on earth?” You might have to think for a while on that one, but that answer, after considering all the movies that are available to us, is Carol Danvers, aka, Captain Marvel.

Higher, further, faster, baby.

You might be thinking “what about the guy from Top Gun?” (that’s Pete Mitchell by the way). And that’s a good contender, but Pete didn’t have the same struggles Carol had. Carol Danvers is a woman, and as such not only had to pass tests like everyone else but had to prove herself in ways that men didn’t have to, which isn’t fair, but nonetheless is an obstacle that she overcame, that Pete was given, simply for being a man. Just because Pete was the first most memorable, doesn’t mean he can hold onto the title forever.

It belongs in a museum!

Here’s an easier one. “Who’s the very best fictional archeologist of all time.” Laura Croft? Close. Helena Shaw. She’s the goddaughter of Indiana Jones and the daughter of Basil Shaw, in Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Ironic that the best archaeologist is in a movie named after the very person who she succeeds as the very best. A noteworthy honorable mention would be Elena Fisher from the Uncharted video game series, developed by Naughty Dog. Although to be fair, she was more of a side character in those games.

Shiver me timbers!

Pirates. We love em’. Who’s the very best? Elizabeth Swan. Captain Jack Sparrow killed turtles to escape an island (allegedly). That’s really messed up. I wasn’t born yesterday. I get that pirates do bad things, but the turtles didn’t hurt anybody. Elizabeth Swan showed courage in defying pirates by saying the codeword to be brought to Barbossa, for not giving in to a marriage she didn’t want and refusing advances from Jack Sparrow. That’s a rebel. That’s someone that breaks all the rules. That’s a true pirate.

From page to screen.

Adaptations can be hard to pull off. Under the best of circumstances, there is still a question of what translates to screen, and what needs to be cut from a 600-page book when the goal is a 2-2.5 (maybe 3) hour movie. That’s assuming the people making the movie even respect the source material at all, which as we see a lot, is unfortunately not the case. Although through the years there have been very good adaptations of books, whether it be standalone books, or series. But one stands out above the rest. The question isn’t “What’s the very best book to movie adaption?”. The question is “Why is the best adaptation A Wrinkle in Time from 2018?” It’s because it matters. It’s because sending a message to empower people is more important than the source material.

They look like they're watching A Wrinkle in Time.

You might not be surprised to find out that as soon as I typed those last 3 sentences, before I published this article, I got some of the rudest, and downright nasty comments on social media for my view on that. I was called some mean names, and the common thread through all of it was “Why wouldn’t it be The Lord of the Rings Trilogy: Extended Edition” and my answer to that is, because like, it’s just 3 movies based off some books like over 70 years ago, it’s not that big of a deal.

To sum it all up…

This list could go on and on. I could write about how the very best Skywalker is Rey, but this article isn’t meant to be a 30-minute read, and referenced in academic journals in Harvard or Oxford, it’s meant to be 5-minute read. The question this article asked was “What makes the very best the very best?” And my answer to that, is courage. It took courage for Carol Danvers to prove herself and not give up. Same thing with Helen and Elizabeth. It took courage to lose around $100 million dollars on A Wrinkle in Time and ignore source material to instead attempt to empower people. I think that’s what makes the very best the very best. I hope you enjoyed this article; more are on the way.

If anyone would like to react to this article and read it for an audience like YouTube or something similar, it’s totally fine to read up to 100% of the article (the more the merrier), all I ask is you credit Satire Station for the article. Have a wonderful day!