Thank you Nintendo for almost spoiling The Super Mario Galaxy Movie for me.

Good thing I didn’t see what it was.

Mario had his own movie spoiled by Nintendo's official account on X.

The spoiler will not be in this article, as I don’t know what it is (although I might have a guess), and wouldn’t put it in the article even if I knew. But to be fair, not a lot of people are being true Nintendo fans, because they should be thanking Nintendo (that’s right, thanking) for apparently spoiling something massive in The Super Mario Galaxy Movie, so let me be the first (that I’m aware of, I’m now staying off social media until I see the movie). These fake fans that don’t like Nintendo spoiling whatever it is that they did, are caught up in their selfishness for wanting to experience a spoiler free sequel to a great movie for 3 years. The behavior of these fake fans is telling, but on the bright side it allows the real fans (like me, and hopefully you) know who appreciates Nintendo’s every decision, whether they personally like it or not. So allow me to say…

Thank you, Nintendo.

Now I can have a healthier week by avoiding social media all together. And it’s entirely possible that after this article goes live, I could receive a DM on X by Nintendo’s official account giving me the entire script/screenplay for the movie, so nothing could be left to the imagination. To be clear, I don’t want the spoiler before the movie. But I love that Nintendo gave it to everyone anyway, because that’s their decision and their right, and it’s obviously totally fine that they didn’t give people the choice of finding out for themselves at the movie theaters and being surprised. If James Cameron knows about this situation right now, I imagine he’s thinking to himself “If only I put the clip of Rose letting go of Jack in the trailer for Titanic!” George Lucas is probably pondering that the biggest mistake of his career wasn’t in selling Star Wars to Disney, but rather, not decorating all the movie posters for The Empire Strikes Back with the line “I am your father.” and literally showing that Darth Vader is talking to Luke Skywalker. George is probably thinking “I should have put ON the posters ‘Darth Vader is Luke’s dad!’”.

Remember the good old days when the theater attendants told us the biggest moments at the ticket counter?

To be fair to other studios, Sony was learning this brilliant technique in the marketing for No Way Home. Although it would have been much better if they showed Toby and Andrew in the first trailer and didn’t allow any hype arising from curiosity. Because when you market something, especially a movie, you want to be absolutely sure that the audience knows everything about it before it’s released. Because if the audience doesn’t, they might not want to see the movie at all, and you could lose everything. Some people have the audacity to say that a studio doesn’t know what it’s doing if it doesn’t tell everyone everything about a movie before it releases in theaters.

Another example that comes to mind in relation to marketing a movie is Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (which came out almost 5 months after No Way Home). Sony was very inexperienced with marketing movies, and fortunately Marvel built on the lessons learned from No Way Home's marketing and had a much better marketing campaign for Dr. Strange 2. How did they do that? By showing one of the biggest surprises of the movie, which (the movie has been out for almost 4 years now, so I can say this) was Professor X! One of the trailers for the movie showed his wheelchair, so all the real fans were very happy that they would be surprised by one less thing in the movie. People might have walked out of the theater if they were caught off guard by Fox’s Patrick Stewart’s X-Men’s Professor X. I remember when Avengers: Infinity War released in 2018. People were walking out of the theaters and demanding refunds when Red Skull showed up again, because they didn’t know beforehand. To be perfectly honest, when Red Skull showed up, I wanted to walk out as well, and it was really hard for me to sit through a movie which I didn’t know everything about beforehand, but somehow, I powered through. And wouldn’t you believe, at the end of Infinity War, a little while after Thanos snapped, EVERYONE left the theater.

Nintendo doesn’t have a lot of experience making movies, which adds to the brilliance of this. Sometimes you do strike gold on your first big try, like Tommy Wiseau with The Room. Or Nintendo with The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023), or Nintendo with Super Mario Bros. (1993, also I’m joking about that, it was the greatest movie ever made). On top of that, Nintendo doesn’t need to compare themselves to studios that have been marketing movies for decades. I’ve even heard a rumor (I made it up just now so I’m the source) that as a “preview” of The Legend of Zelda movie, during The Super Mario Galaxy Movie, Nintendo is going to show the entire first Legend of Zelda movie in the time when trailers are shown, and the hour and a half preview will have unfinished CGI and in the places they haven’t shot scenes for, the entire movie theater screen will just have a stock photo of Link to fill in the gaps, but text will be on the screen to explain everything that’s happening, because that’s a preview, because the Legend of Zelda movie isn’t finished yet.

I’m really looking forward to The Super Mario Galaxy Movie next week; I think I’m going to enjoy it a lot.

I hope you enjoyed this article; more are on the way. If anyone would like to react to this article and read it for an audience like YouTube or something similar, it’s totally fine to read up to 100% of the article (the more the merrier), all I ask is you credit Satire Station for the article. Have a wonderful day!

About a week from now I will add a sentence below this statement, saying what I thought the spoiler was before seeing the movie (I have 2 guesses as of now, based on 2 separate conversations, and I still don’t know the spoiler as of now), and if I managed to avoid the spoiler until watching the movie. And at that point, the movie will be out and everyone will know what it was, but I still won’t put the spoiler in the article, so don’t worry (I’m probably completely incorrect in my guesses, we’ll see).